What Happened to Lily and James?
by fantasychica
Summary: James asks Lily for a favor and, of course, she says she'll do it. But when that favor is performing a romantic love story, will she see it through? Rated T for language and innuendo.
1. Chapter 1

**What the Happened to Lily and James?**

Disclaimer: I do not now nor will ever own Harry Potter or, alas, the Marauders. Poor me...

"Please Evans?" James called down the hallway. "Just one date? Would it kill you to go on just ONE date?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact it would. I would in fact die if I had to go on a date with you Potter." Lily shouted back at him "And another thing, stop sending me all the flowers and mushy poems. It's not as romantic as you may think to recieve a fanged geranium!"

"She never mentioned the chocolates Prongs. Did you notice that?" Sirius said from next to James.

"So chocolate is the way to your heart?" James said hopefully.

"No. No sane girl will ask anyone to stop sending them chocolate. And if you lace them with love potion I swear I will rip your arm off and beat you over the head with it!" Lily shouted wagging her finger threateningly.

"Damn. I was going to try that too!" James said. Lily made a noise like an angry cat and stormed off out the door and down by the lake. In a huff, she sat down on a rock in the shallows. James started off after her. The warm June sun hit Lily just right, creating an angelic glow. And the best thing, she wasn't shouting at him. She looked behind her and saw James headed toward her. Scowling, she hopped on the rocks until she was out in the deeper waters. This was perfect, James was afraid of water ever since he fell into the lake during the boat ride in their first year, so he wouldn't follow her. As she hit the last rock, she slipped on a wet patch and fell in. The giant squid happened to be swimming nearby and was excited at the prospect of a new playmate. Upon seeing Lily, he stuck out a giant tentacle and pulled her in to a crushing embrace. She tried to scream, but she was underwater.

James saw this and pulled off his robes and shirt and jumped in after her, completely abandoning his fears. He ran out rather clumsily then dived in gracefully. After swimming out a ways, he saw Lily struggling to get her head above water. He swam over and held out his hand and yelled, "Lily! Take my hand!". Then she went under, when she didn't resurface, he went under himself.

Sirius and Remus were watching from the shore. Sirius looked amused while Remus looked sick. "Someone get Dumbledore! I doubt James can swim!" Remus shouted.

"Shut up Moony. He's doing fine. And anyway, he's swimming with a buddy!"

"Yeah. The buddy he's trying to save from drowning!" Remus shouted. "JAMES! OH MY GOD! HE ISN'T COMING UP! HE WENT UNDER! SOMEONE GET HELP!"

Sirius slapped Remus and he shut up. Meanwhile, James was trying to get Lily to trust him. "Lily! You have to trust me! Can you swim?"

"If I could I wouldn't be-" but the squid pulled her under, again. James rolled his eyes and went under. The Giant Squid was definitely giant. He looked around until he found an unconsious Lily. He swam over and grabbed her arm and pulled her from the squid's clutches. Speeding, he went to the shore before the Squid decided he needed a Ken or the Barbie he found. He finally reached the shore.

"Back off! I saw this in a movie once!" James shouted as Sirius and Remus ran up. He laid Lily on her back and opened her mouth. "_So this is how our first kiss is going to play out._" He put his mouth over hers and breathed into her mouth, having no idea what he was doing. Lily woke up and slapped him on the head and sat up.

"You theif! You stole my stole my first kiss!" Lily screamed and walked off. As she walked to the doors, she stopped and looked behind her at the sopping wet James behind her. His hair was flat for once and he had nice abs. And he was wet, but then again, so was she. Sheepishly, she walked back. "Thanks for saving me."

"Anytime Lily- Flower." James said coyly.

"I-" she began, but thought better of it and walked back to the school with a smile.

She walked into the Head's Common Room, still smiling. One of her best friends, Angela, was sitting on the couch. She had black hair and ever blacker eyes,

"Why are you wet?" Angela started, but then amended, "I don't think I want to know."

"That doesn't matter. But how did you get in here?" Lily asked, cocking her head, wet hair still dripping.

"Sirius gave me the password." Angela said, raising an eyebrow suggestively. "I can't ever imagine the reason why."

"I know! The fact that only you two, Remus, James, and I come in here and with the rate you two are going, you could be reproducing faster than rabbits means nothing!" Lily said, staring pointedly at her friend. "Do you even know his last name?"

"White?" Angela asked meekly. Lily threw a pillow at her face. "I happen to know Sirius is hot, loves me, and is really good in bed! And that's enough!"

"If you two get married, than what will you do? Not know what your last name is?"

"We're not the marriage type."

"Sex with no strings attached? That sounds romantic."

"It is! You and James live here together! As if you two didn't get a little busy when you two were alone together!"

"No we didn't. Because up until now, I hated him with a passion!"

"Up until now? What made you change your mind? Will you accept a date from him now?"

"You had to be there. And no. I still won't accept a date from him. Too awkward."

"You two would be perfect for each other! Like Romeo and Juliet!"

"They die at the end. You do know that, right?"

"Yes Lily. We were in the same english class!"

"But anyway. If we were Romeo and Juliet, it's better if we stay apart. Then no one will die."

At that moment, Remus, Sirius, and James walked into the common room. James was still shirtless and wet. All were laughing. The only thing intelligibe was from Sirius, "Then- then you just kissed her! What was up with that?"

"Were you parading that like a trophy or something? Let me guess, instead of CPR, it was you and me in a broom closet?" Lily said, face turning redder and redder by the second. "Because that was nothing and my feelings for you have not changed you arrogant prick!" Lily stormed into her room and slammed the door.

Angela looked from the closed door to Sirius to the wet and slightly crestfallen James. "Does anyone want to tell me what happened?"

"Lily fell into the lake and got pulled under by the giant squid. So James here goes all heroic and rescues her from the horribe fast appraoching doom. He gets her to the shore and attempts CPR, but it was more like a kiss. So we were there and it was all quite funny, because they were both wet beyond all recognition and eveything." Remus explianed quickly.

"Is that all? I thought it was something important. Like she finally found out she's in love." Angela said, looking back down at the school book she had been reading.

"I wish." James said. "Angela, you're a girl. What do girls like in a guy?"

"Well, I personally like a guy with brains, looks, and brawn." Angela started.

"Then why are you with Sirius?" Remus asked.

"Two out of three ain't bad." Angela expained. "But I think Lily likes a sweet guy she can settle down with. Shape up some Potter and you may have a shot. Just be yourself. No girl likes a fake. And don't be cheesy. She hates mushy love poems and flowers. Too overdone."

"Damn. I thought girls liked that!" James said.

"Some do. Girls are just like guys. Only smarter." Angela replied.

"You're one to talk Theninson!" Remus said under his breath. He was her partner once in Defense Against the Dark Arts and he ended up in the hospital wing because she got the incantation for the Levitating Charm and the Shield Jinx backwards. He still has the scars from the candle burns.

"Well, whatever you do, do it fast, school ends in three weeks." Angela pointed out.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. Heck, the character I made up is based after a friend. If I owned Romeo and Juliet, I'd be dead. Because Shakespeare lived a couple centuries ago.

A/N: Hey all! This is the author talking to you. Do you see that pretty bluish button at the end of the story? Well, I named him Bob. And Bob is lonely and needs a friend. So click on him and write a blurb on how much you LOVE this story and Bob will give you a cookie. And who doesn't love that? Flames are OK if they're justified. But if you have bad news, tell me in a happy way to make it seem less bad. Yes, I even got the idea of that from Romeo and Juliet. Now before I bore you to tears, here's chapter two!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, James saw Lily sitting in the Head's common room, reading on the couch. Seizing this moment of calm serenity, he went over.

"What brings you here today Lily?" James asked, genuinely curious.

"Shakespeare." Lily said, not looking up from her book. "Angela mentioned it and I couldn't get it out of my head since."

"Which one are you reading? He wrote thirty seven plays you know." James said looking at the gold lettering on the cover.

"Romeo and Juliet. His most beautiful work in my opinion."

"Well, personally, I found it too fast paced for my liking. Had it taken place over, say, a month, it may have been more believable."

Lily put down the book and scrutinized James. "You read Romeo and Juliet?"

"Yes. _Two households both alike in dignity in fair Verona where we lay our scene, from ancient grudge breaks new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. _I didn't read it, I was in it. Potter family tradition. Every summer, we put on a Shakespearean play. A few years ago, I was Mercutio. But since my mother is obsessed with it, we're putting it on this summer too. But I don't have a Juliet to bring home this year. Yet another tradition. When we do a love story, the lead male lead brings home his girlfriend. I, alas, have no Juliet this year. My cousin Rodolphus brought his girlfriend, _Bellatrix_ home. Oh well. My mother can get over the _shame_ of having the only Romeo without a Juliet in six generations. I'll just be _shunned_ from my family and forced to move in with Sirius and rot there."

"James. Would you, by any chance, want me to be your Juliet this year?" Lily said, already knowing the answer.

"Why Lily! I hadn't given that a thought! But if you insist." James said in fake astonishment. Lily rolled her eyes and realized what she had agreed to. She was going to play James's lover in one of the most timeless love tragedies of all time. "We will have to reherse and that would involve going home with me over summer break."

"Then I have a letter to write." Lily said as she got up and left.

When he was sure she was gone, he turned to the corner of the room and Sirius came out from underneath James's Invisibility cloak. "Told you I could get her to do it."

"Damn. You must be good."

"I am, aren't I? Is it all set for you to come to 'Verona' this summer Mercutio?"

"Yes Romeo. You emo dude."

"For the last time! Romeo is NOT emo!"

"He's moping over some other girl. Then he kills himself. Sounds emo to me." James bit his thumb. Sirius feigned offense. "You foul Montegue! Have at thee!" Sirius tackled James to the ground.

"Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? We need to reherse!" Lily called from the stairs. "What are you doing?"

"Non canon fight with Mercutio." James said simply. "Is it the balcony scene already?"

"We could just do Romeo's death scene and be done with it!" Lily shouted. "In fact, if you're on stuff that didn't actually happen, I'll just kill you myself!"

"Hilarious. What you should know is we do a walking interactive show. The stage is my entire manor, so the first week of break we spend just redecorating. Since we can all use magic and we have extra hands for longer, it shouldn't take as long. This means yes, you will be in my room. Get over it. And it's a mess. Again, get over it." James explained. "You would be staying in the guest room. Down the hall from mine."

"Whatever. Can we get to practice?" Lily asked impatiently. In truth, Lily couldn't wait to start and was excited at the prospect of perfoming such a beautiful piece of work, with James. '_NO! You do not like James. You are doing this so he'll leave you alone and for no other reason. The many kisses that occur in this mean nothing and he is still an arrogant prick._' "On secod thought. I need to rewrite that letter to my parents. Be right back." Lily raced up the stairs and sat on her bed to edit the letter to her parents. It read something like this when it was done:

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_I'm going home to James's for a while over break. He needs my help with something and I said I'd do it. I miss you guys! Everything's awesome here. Nothing special to report other than my absence for a couple of weeks. We're putting on Romeo and Juliet and it's at Potter Manor in Godric's Hollow if you want to see it. I can't see James having a problem with you coming. I'll write about dates and times and everything. I hope you can come! Write back soon if you have any problems with me going. I assure you, James is a respectable, decent, kind, dashing, chivalrous, knight in shining armor. Haha. Kidding. But he is nice. And Sirius and Remus and Angela are coming I think. I really don't know much. It's an interactive show so you get to see the entire manor. I hear it's lovely. The way James describes it. And he said we're going to redecorate the entire thing. He actually has an ivy covered balcony for act 2! But I said too much. I'll see you when I see you._

_Best,_

_Lily_

_P.S: Mum. I think I like this one. He's kinda special. Dad, don't scare this one away please!_

Lily sighed and wondered how she could buy herself more time alone. She heard a crash and ran down the stairs. Sirius was laying on the floor laughing uproariously while James was just kinda standing there. Lily looked at them confused.

"Should I even ask?" Lily asked, putting her hands on her hips.

""No. You do not want to know. All's you need to know is one word. Sugar. And lots of it." James said, looking puposeful and resigned.

Lily looked aghast from the now rolling Sirius to the disappointed James and said "No. He didn't..."

"Yeah. He put one too many sugar cubes in his morning coffee and now he's a rolling lump of useless lard. And he's supposed to be Mercutio. Poor sap."

"I like pie! I want to be a squirrel! Can I have some cheese? I like pie!" Sirius said laughing "Who are you? Who who who who?"

"God save us all." Lily said, rolling her eyes. "Do we need him to reherse?"

"Yeah. When you and I have scenes with other characters, this loser takes the other characters place. Then we all rotate so we all have it memorized. I guess we'll have a high friar. But oh well."

Lily and James started practicing _Romeo and Juliet_ with a high Sirius. The scenes went something like this:

"O Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo!" Lily called from her place on the stairs that served as the balcony.

"He's right here lady! God! Open your eyes! You say you love this guy, but you can't recognize him when you see him? What's up with that?" Sirius called up at her.

"Sirius, that means 'Why are you Romeo?' Not 'Where are you Romeo?'!" James called from his postition behind a chair. "And it's only Romeo and Juliet in this scene. Not to mention she's not supposed to know I'm here. Then she gets all pissed off that I am, but that goes away pretty quickly. Then she says she loves me and everything is all happy inside. Until they die. Which we're rehersing next."

"Why? I'm in no hurry." Lily said worriedly. "We don't have to practice that now. I mean-"

"You've got to get used to me kissing you otherwise it won't work. It's nothing, purely professional. But I know how you get." James expalined calmly. "But no offense."

"None taken. I guess." Lily said nervously. "Shall we continue?"

"We shall. Look how she leans her hand on her cheek. O that I were a glove on that hand that I may touch that cheek!" James recited.

"Ay me!" Lily said, like a perfect Juliet.

"Argh! I'm a pirate! Fear me and my swashbuckling awesomeness!" Sirus shouted in his drunken stupor. "I am the feared pirate Daddy Longlegs!"

"Sirius. There are no pirates in Romeo and Juliet. Now stick to the script!" James shouted exasperatedly. "Perhaps we should get Angela in here."

"Good idea. I'll get her. She's still in Defense." Lily offered. She noticed James's eyes follow her as she descended the steps. Little did he know, her eyes were following him as she left.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: It's me again! Remeber Bob and his cookies! And if you liked this, check out my other stories in the meantime. This may be a long update. And remember the blue button. And if you're colorblind, sorry. I think it's a light gray.


End file.
